One of the most transformative lessons I have learnt in the past few years is to be kind to myself. Making the deliberate choice not to be too hard on myself led me to build a habit of successfully creating new patterns.
We are what we often do, they say. It is right. At least, it feels like it. It is also true that no one said that we are what we do every day without fail. The truth is that, at least for me, for something in the realm of personal development to become a habit, I need to derive some pleasure from it. It is unrealistic for me to expect to do something every day, on my own initiative, if I don’t lurk the reward.
However, it is very easy to stop anticipating or enjoying the prize if I can’t show understanding to myself when at times, I don’t show up.
The pursuit of the perfect streak, although elevated to the modern grail, might not be the best way to stick to a habit. When the goal is to repeat a task,day after day, without tolerance for an interruption, an instance of failure creates so much disappointment, such a sense of letdown that it might be discouraging. It might ultimately undermine all the hard already done work and tint in dark previous successes, rendering them a thing of the past.
On my end, I stopped obsessing about the tracking. I stopped believing that success in achieving my objectives comes from perfection.
I prefer to commit to my practices and if something comes on the way one day, not to sweat it and simply pick up where I left off.
Prior to this, I had tried for years to build new habits. However, it is only since I have learned not to see things in black and white, in success and failure that my life has changed. Now I can see and acknowledge the progress that I make towards my goals rather than being blinded by the pursuit of an infallible streak. I am kind to and patient with myself. This is the most important habit I have built, and it has changed my life.
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